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Catcall Me? Please Don’t!

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catcall_me_pleasePoor Doree Lewak of the New York Post just wants to “be that objectified sex thing for [the catcalling men of NYC]” because “hard hats need something to look at on their break.” Maybe they should try looking at the newspaper. “It’s as primal as it gets, ladies!” Not as primal as, say, bashing you in the head with a club, dragging you into a secluded area and raping you, but the sentiment is the same. A man who yells out positive and/or negative comments at a passing female stranger is operating under the same idea; the belief that women’s bodies don’t belong to them, but to the public, and as a part of public property, men have the right to judge them as worthy or unworthy bodies.

Ms. Lewak wants to know “what’s so wrong with a ‘you are sexy’ comment from any observant man?” What’s wrong with it is that no one asked their opinion. What’s wrong with it is that when I leave my home and walk to the deli or out to meet friends for dinner or anywhere, really, I don’t assume that doing so puts me on display, but it does. Every. Single. Time.

Sometimes, I feel naked as I walk down the street and more than half the male eyes are focused just south of my neck. When someone pulls their vehicle over to express to me how much they appreciate the view they’re getting I don’t feel empowered, I feel marginalized. I feel like a pair of tits on legs. I feel violated. I didn’t ask what your opinion of my figure is, I don’t know you and I certainly don’t like the lascivious look in your eyes as you lick your lips while telling me how sexy I am. Do you want to know how I really feel about it? I feel like I need a shower.

Lewak asks, “isn’t feminism all about self-empowerment?” Yes, it is, but you’re missing the point. It’s about SELF-empowerment. You feeling powerful as your own woman, not you feeling powerful because some random dudes on the street called you sexy. If you truly want to feel empowered, Doree Lewak, then you should strive to feel sexy without needing to hear it from strangers. That’s real self-empowerment. That’s a truly sexy woman; a woman who doesn’t need to be told daily that she’s hot and has a nice ass.

But Lewak isn’t a self-empowered woman. She closes her article with the following (regarding the upcoming colder months): “Maybe I’ll find self-worth and validation somewhere else—say, at an ice hockey rink. Maybe I’ll try a body-clinging Lycra figure-skating suit on for size.” Her self-worth and validation come from without. What will she do when she’s old and saggy? Who will validate her then? She implies that she is only as worthy as her figure is appealing. What happens when her figure isn’t as visually “sexy” as it is today?

I used to base my self-worth on what others thought of me and my body. Instead of strangers on the street, I let my significant others be the base of my worth. Unfortunately, that foundation cracks the minute the relationship goes sour. I finally realized the error of my ways and I began cultivating the most important relationship I’ll ever have—the one I have with myself. The foundation of self-worth I’ve built is on solid, unmoving ground now. I’m still learning to love myself, still building that foundation, but at least now I know that my self-worth won’t crumble the next time a relationship ends.


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